


To Love

by armitageadoration



Category: OFC/Richard Armitage, Richard Armitage - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-22 15:30:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12484852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armitageadoration/pseuds/armitageadoration
Summary: To love is one of the greatest graces upon the earth. The fact we are given such an ability is proof of the enjoyment of life. That we can ignore such a grace is even better, until it bites your throat.





	1. Chapter 1

My upbringing was so different from most peoples. My mother is English and my father is American. He was stationed in London many years ago. That’s how they met. And tada a baby is born, that would be me. 8 years later Dad is ready to go back to the US. Except there is a huge problem. His first and only child is some sort of strange prodigy.

By the time I was 20 years old, I had become a physician, earned several other degrees, and gotten married. Yes. I got married young. Too young most people would say. Unfortunately, the marriage lasted less than a year. I became a widow. The assassination was meant for both my husband and myself. I escaped, but barely.  The ones that planned and tried to kill me died in the worst of ways. I wasn’t sorry about it but I had nothing to do with their deaths.

So, I threw myself into my work and became mostly a hermit. Somehow, I was on set of a quite popular show visiting my godparent’s son, and someone liked the way I looked asked me to try out and then cast me in a BBC period drama. Pretty sure it was the weirdest day of my life.

And that is how I met Richard Armitage. Come to find out, when we are both in London, we live ridiculously close to each other. If I opened my window and screamed out his name, he would hear it. Assuming he was in town, of course.

We had a lot in common and became fast friends. That’s all it was. Friends.

The thing was, I saw him in Cold Feet and then North and South. I ended up with a raging crush on the man, prior to meeting said man.

I had just gotten in from doing a photoshoot on the beach. I was still dressed in a bikini and a sarong. Seriously? Who does this shit? Oh right. Me. Keep the popularity up. Screw that. That was a first and last time. Yes, I am an actor of sorts. I only take on a small number of projects, thankfully. I would have been far past batshit if I did this full time. Why? I just let people take my picture in a tiny bikini.

“Goddamnit!” Someone was banging on the door. Why is it when I need a shower in the worst way do I have to wait to get one? Checking the door, I smiled seeing who it was.

Rich. And two bottles of wine. The wine alone made me happy to see him.

“Come on in. Make yourself at home. I am hitting the shower for a sec.”

“Jesus, Khrys, I know the women’s lines of clothes are getting smaller and smaller but that is ridiculous.”

I flipped him off. “Smart arse. Pour me a glass of wine and give me 5 minutes.” I removed the swimwear and launched both the top and bottom at his head. Hopping into the shower straight away, I hear the swimsuit smack wetly against the glass. Score one. I may or may not have smirked.

I was rinsing off, finally feeling clean and he poked his head in the door. It’s not like he hadn’t seen me naked before. We had known each other for a decade after meeting on a movie set that we were both doing. For some reason I have ended up doing quite a number of sexy scenes with and without him.

“I will be back shorty.”

“Why?”

“I need to take a piss.”

“You are going back to your hotel room to pee?”

“Of course.”

“Rich my darling friend, don’t be a prude. I am under the water and can’t see anything.”

“Khryssa….”

“Prude.”

I’m pretty sure he snarled at me. Again, I was under the water and couldn’t see or hear properly.

At least he did it. Men can be so strange at times. Honestly I couldn’t see or hear a thing with my head beneath the water. Dried off and dressed, I went back into the living area of the small hotel suite.

Richard handed me a glass of wine. “How did your 2nd panel go?” He asked.

We were both attending ComicCon.

“Not horrible. It was unnerving to say the least. Thank you for teaching me the ropes.”

“Why did you lie?”

“What do you mean?”

“They asked who your first crush was and you said Mickey Mouse. I know that wasn’t the truth because you actually never watched a cartoon until you were an adult.”

Did I say Goddamnit earlier? Well I mean it more this time. “How do you know that Mickey wasn’t my first crush as an adult then?”

“Because I have known you for a decade. You never once mentioned Mickey Mouse to me.”

“It could be because I am shy!”

Richard rolled his eyes and smirked.

Sighing, I started over. “I’m embarrassed for anyone to know.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

This was not a conversation I wanted to have. Ever. So let’s change the subject, shall we? Ahem.

“Where are you going next Rich?”

“London for a couple weeks.”

Looking around, I have no idea where my phone is. “I have no idea what my schedule is like because my phone seems to be in hiding. Not that I blame it.” That was a lie. Not having an idea where I put my phone that is. I didn’t blame the phone for hiding one bit. I would hide too if I could.

“I’m not going to let this go Khryssa Leigh Hart.”

“Use of full name now. Hmmpf.” I gave him a scathing look. Yes, he laughed. “You’re not my real father!”

He laughed again. Men. Damnit

“Why do you wish to know this information? Is it because I refuse to tell?”

“No. As long as I have known you, I have never seen you with anyone.”

It was true. I hadn’t gone out with anyone, besides going places with my friends, since Xavier was murdered. I’m not afraid of it happening again, it is NOT a phobia. That is far too irrational for me. Xavier Harcard was the only man I had ever been with, physically. Richard was the only man besides my late husband I ever fancied. I didn’t have a crush on Richard any longer. I think I knew him too well for that to be a crush.

 

I loved him instead. Goddamnit x3 – the trilogy.

 

Yes, yes, yes. I know. I was no different than millions of women on the planet. He is a good and kind man. Talented beyond anyone I ever knew. The way he paid attention to people talking to him, you would feel like you were the only one that mattered. I was that sort of fool. I can admit that. Usually.

Finally when enough of the wine was gone, he was ready to go sleep off the tipsiness. I was too, to be quite honest. We gave each other our customary hugs and kisses on the cheek.

I had to be up in three hours to catch my flight, so I didn’t sleep. Everything was packed, so it wasn’t a problem. I was using the company jet, so I didn’t have to worry about people.

When I checked out of the hotel, I asked to have an envelope given to Richard. They knew it was fine, we were on each other’s ‘lists’. The outside of the envelope I had written his name.

The inside however, was different.

**Dear Mickey,**

**I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.**

**K-**

 

I realize that I was still tipsy when I did this. Not that it mattered, what was done was done. I called to the home office in London and told my assistant that under no circumstances was she to tell anyone where I was. Greta was amused, I could hear it in her voice. I had known her for fourteen years and she had seen every facet of my life. She deserved that amusement. I also knew that she wouldn’t betray my trust. Hence, my executive assistant made more than most Fortune 500 CEOs. She was worth every bit of it too.

It was mid-afternoon when I arrived at my parent’s home about 100 miles north of Houston. No, I wasn’t running away. I had agreed to help watch the ranch while they were somewhere on the Asian continent. My father is a US Senator and currently 4th in line for the presidency. Their home is a little strange when they aren’t there. The Secret Service people are still on the grounds of course, making it hard to get on the property. I had never been so grateful for the peace in quiet in all of my 32 years.

Dad’s right hand man and one of his closest friends came outside of the guest cottage, where I would be staying, immediately.

“Carlos!” I was happy to see him. This man knows cattle better than anyone else on the planet, I was sure. Also, because he told me so repeatedly since I was a child.

“Khryssie! Welcome home! Amelia is getting everything ready for you inside.”

“Good! I hope she left me some of her cooking as well.” I hugged him tight. Whenever I was in Texas I would usually go out for drinks and dancing with his girls. We were all about the same age. They were all just as much family as my parents were.

“Of course she did.” Carlos laughed. “Can you even get TexMex over there?”

“Sure, if I cook it myself.”                     

We spent about 2 hours around the kitchen table going over everything. The reason why my Dad wanted me here, two of Carlos’ younger boys were graduating from UT. So he and Amelia were going over to Austin with the rest of the family to watch them walk.

By day three of me being in Texas, everything was uneventful. The nights were finally cool enough to enjoy sitting out on the porch with a drink. UT was a family tradition, with most all of Carlos’ family and my father’s family having graduated from there.  Even my mother had an advanced degree from the University of Texas. I was the odd girl out. My schooling was all done at Oxford.

After fixing a hot cup of tea, I wanted to be outside for a bit to watch the rain and simply relax. When I opened the door, I got quite a surprise.

“Khryssa…..”

The tea cup crashed to the floor. I didn’t even hear it.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“May I come in?” He was polite and looking more and more like a drowned rat each second.

“I. Uh. Yes.”           

“Why didn’t you say something before?”

“I’m not exactly good at sharing information until I am filled with wine bravado.” There are reasons why I normally only had multiple drinks around Richard. I always figured he was the safest person to drink with. Remind me never to think that again? Sheesh.

Richard smiled gently. He just stared at me. Honestly? I had no idea what to do. Finding an actual word and not a grunt was difficult.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and warm up? I will fetch you some warm dry clothes and perhaps then we can talk.” I spoke. Not sure how, but at least I managed that much.

“Thank you. Same room?”

“Of course.”

He went off to shower and I rounded up some of my dad’s sweats. Thank goodness I always keep a set here, for me. Dad’s 6’11 and built like a NFL linebacker. So his clothes were perfect when you didn’t want to do a darned thing.  Richard had been here countless times, both with and without me.

Weird eh? My parents love him like he was their own son. My mother sends a 46 year old man care packages when he is filming outside of the UK. Sometimes even when he is in the UK and just away from London.

Before he started filming with horses so often, my mum and dad gave him rudimentary lessons in riding. Richard took to the lessons well. I don’t think I had laughed as hard as when my mother slapped him on the back and said that he doesn’t ride like and Englishman any longer. Englishmen ride like sacks of…..sugar….in the saddle she told him. I’m afraid my mum has lived in Texas too long.  What makes it funnier is mum is all of 5’4. Mum looks like a non-hairy dwarf around elves.

I left the sweats on the bed and went to clean up the mess I had made. The broken crockery went into the bin. Sighing softly, I uncorked a bottle of wine and grabbed two glasses. I needed wine. Screw the tea. Tea wasn’t going to help getting me to talk.

The front door was left open for him, with the screen door in place. You don’t leave completely open doors in this part of Texas. The mosquitos will carry you off to parts unknown. Outside in one of the rocking chairs with my feet up on the railing, I tried to calm down. Breathe in, hold, exhale – that was a farce. Trust me when I say it wasn’t working right now.

I didn’t look at Richard when he came out. I just held up a full wineglass for him to take and offered a chair.

“How did you find where I was?”

“Greta wouldn’t tell me where you were, so I took a wild guess. When I arrived here, I gave the agents my code and asked if you were in the cottage or the house.” He smirked.

Damnit. I didn’t consider the latter part. Well played Sir. Well played. “I knew I shouldn’t underestimate a man that has played a bad guy or a spy as many times as you have.” I sounded grumpy to my own ears.

“Khrys? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“And have you dismiss me as nothing but a fangirl?”

“You really think I would do that?”

“I don’t know. I may have been dismissing myself as such rather than you.”

“That’s more likely.” His voice was soft.

I drained my glass. The wine was making me even more caustic. I felt like I was a child caught doing something wrong. “I can’t have this conversation tonight Rich. I’m sorry.”

“Do you wish for me to leave?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Then sit. Talk about something else.” He looked concerned. It wasn’t a surprise. Once you got past his shyness Richard was one of the most caring people I knew. “Khrys, I just want you to be comfortable.”

I turned to him. Inhaling deep, I tried to settle my nerves some. “Richard, I must apologize. I should have handled everything better than I did. Unfortunately, lack of sleep and too much wine are a bad combination. That is not an excuse at all. I should have talked to you directly, like the adult I am.” Or I apparently pretend to be.

“I just don’t understand why you kept it a secret for so long.”

“I felt foolish. I felt that I was far too old to have a crush on anyone, especially someone that I was working with. When we became friends while filming, it was worse. Time went on. The harder it was to admit it to myself, let alone to you.”

He nodded. I was pretty sure that I had to chew my heart back down from my throat at this point. I felt awful. I acted like a child towards someone I truly cared about.

“I’m truly sorry Richard. I never meant to hurt you, humiliate you, and make you feel awkward or anything like that. It was never ever my intention.”

He laughed. I couldn’t believe it. He FUCKING laughed. I was about to go find a rock to crawl under at this point.  That’s it. Life of celibacy for me now. I am avoiding men entirely other than for work purposes where I can’t get away from them. The last time I was this close to crying was when Xavier died. I couldn’t help it. I never wanted to run from someone this badly. Ever.

And like the immature child that I am, I did just that. I ran.

This part of Texas was hilly but not overly so. I knew the property like the back of my hand. I had never lived here but there were so many days spent visiting, I knew it and knew it well. There was a nearby trail that is part of my parent’s homestead. It was my sanctuary all year round, yet the spring and fall were my favorite times of year to be out here. It is when the flowers bloom at their finest.

This was an old part of the property. Nothing had ever been done to it really, except for keeping everything from growing completely wild. The trees formed a canopy over the path, it helped keep the rain off me. I was running as hard and fast as I could. I kept going down another bit of the path and there it was.

There was a small dock going out over what looked like to be a pond. Only the break in the trees around the water came from the path I ran down. The heady scent of lavender from the plants surrounding made everything more beautiful. It actually wasn’t a pond, but a warm spring. Okay. Fine. Technically it was a hot spring, but the water was warm rather than hot. At least that is why I called it a warm spring when I was a child. In the cool night air, a mist appeared to hover over the water.

My parents lived a good bit outside of any town. So between the canopies of branches the stars and moon bathed everything in light, normally. Tonight with the rain, it was fairly dark. There was just enough light from the surrounding property to keep it from being black as pitch.

My bare feet were stinging. The path is clean, for the most part, but broken branches do gather on the ground occasionally. I really didn’t care at this point in the game. I needed the water. I am not a religious person, but in that moment of time I needed absolution from my sins that only the spring could give. My clothing went flying and I dove into the water from the dock. Not to worry, I do know how deep it is.

I ended up swimming to the other side of the spring and for the first time in over a decade I cried. This wasn’t one of those movie cries where the woman dries her eyes daintily. This was ugly. This was chest heaving ‘vomiting up the pain from where it had stayed bottled up for years’ type of crying.

Rarely did my own logical and stoic nature fail me, but this time it did. I had loved so rarely in my life outside of blood family and when he laughed it broke something. There is no way in hell I was going to face him. I wished I had my phone. I could text him to leave.

I hope to god he didn’t get the agents involved. That would be embarrassing. Thankfully the water was warm and soothing as I sat on the bank. I wanted to sleep now. This whole ordeal was embarrassing and exhausting. Why on earth did I do so stupid as to leave him that note?

This is the part of my life that is most problematic for me. I never went to public school. I wasn’t socialized with other children or teens. I never experienced the school dances, boyfriends, or any of that sort of thing.

When I was eight, I was in school. Medical school. So, I learned social behavior from adults. It doesn’t translate the same way for a child. The brain of a 6 year old and a 26 year old aren’t the same. I didn’t have the life experience that would connect the dots. Now, I am fairly adept at fitting in. I haven’t always been that way. This time, it showed.

I climbed back into the water and just floated with my eyes closed. The warm water and the scent of lavender was like a tranquilizer. I should go back up to the cottage and talk to him, assuming he was still even there. My chest ached. Richard was one of my closest friends, if not the closest.  

“You are the only damned person on the planet I would get into water in the dead of night like this for without being paid handsomely Khryssa Leigh. You realize I have probably been between your thighs more times than I have been with any other woman on the planet, yes? Given the number of takes, episodes, or whatever we have gone through?” 

Well. That was unexpected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

I never heard him even enter the water. Lost in thought was not an exaggeration this time. Richard didn’t look angry, which surprised me. Actually, he looked more amused than anything. Now which one of us was acting weirder, me or him?

“Come over this way, you can touch the bottom easily.” I swam over to the side. It was a gravely area, so it felt more secure – at least I hoped so, for his sake. I knew he wasn’t a fan of water. Plus, a few feet away was a submerged stone bench. My dad put it there to enjoy the springs more comfortably.

“Does it feel slimy?”

“No. It’s smooth rocks.” How I kept a straight face was beyond me.

I stayed crouched down in the water. It was too shallow for me to stand fully and not expose myself. It wasn’t anything Richard hadn’t seen before but it was too uncomfortable to expose myself like that right now. I was never really prudish, you can’t study human anatomy at 8 years old and get embarrassed over body parts. Until now, I suppose. Sheesh. I really was a damned mess.

“Richard, if you come closer to me and go a bit to my left there is a stone bench. Straddle it and you will stay mostly beneath the water.”

“Will you join me?”

“Yes.”

We sat a bit apart, facing each other. I keep my hair quite long. The reason? It’s easier to put up. Right now it was everywhere. Gently, Richard brushed back a few strands that had glued themselves to my neck from the water and smiled.

“Do you remember what I asked you shortly after the hello nice to meet you the first time we met in person?”

“You asked me how long the extensions took to be put in and if they were heavy. Why?” One of us apparently had gone daft. I am not sure which one of us it was yet. It’s pretty much 50/50 at this point.

“I knew they weren’t extensions Khryssa, I had seen your pictures by then. I said that to keep you talking.”

“I don’t understand.”

“While I loathe to admit it, you were and still are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Please don’t think I am being insulting. I didn’t know you yet. You are far more beautiful than just your looks. Do you remember when we were being driven back from a fairly remote location and you made the driver stop the car?”

“The first time?”

“Yes. Tell me about it Khryssa.”

“There was an accident. It apparently happened just moments before we got there.”

“You made the driver stop and performed surgery right in the middle of the road. That man would have died there if it wasn’t for you.”

I couldn’t help it. I rolled my eyes at him. “Richard I’m a physician, a surgeon at that. Any other physician would have done the exact same.” I sighed. This was going nowhere fast.

“Listen to what I am saying Khrys. You are the most selfless person I know. You haven’t taken a paycheck, so to speak, in how many years?”

“Richard, I get paid like everyone else does.”

“And virtually every bit of money you make, goes to charity.

“I have enough money to live beyond any extreme of comfort for the next three lives over. I don’t need the money.”

He rolled his eyes at me this time. Jerkface.

“Would you mind us going back up to the cottage Khrys? I have had enough of the water.”

“My apologies, I always forget you don’t share my love for the water. Head over to the dock, it has a ladder that will make things a bit easier.”

I hopped out just using the natural flora around the spring. I was polite enough to walk over to the dock to help him. The tension lifted some upon the realization that he was kind enough to get into the natural pool for my benefit.

Bending down, I offered him a hand up on to the dock. He took it and pulled, seemingly trying to hoist himself up. It was a ploy. That arse flung me back into the water while laughing. Sputtering I came up for a breath. I was about ready to go after Richard when he flung me back into the ladder. My back hit it lightly. Everything happened too quickly for me to have my wits about me.

Suddenly he was there. His hands curled around the steel poles of the ladder, with his body tight to mine.

“If this is the way I have to get you to listen Khryssa, I damned well will do it. Look at me.”

“How can I look anywhere else?”  I may have snarled the words, not sure though. It could have just been a scowl.

“Good. I fell in love with you within days of meeting you. I wanted you. The reason we have had the chance to work together so many times is that the chemistry between us is captured easily. Love or hate in the script, we always had that pull towards each other. I am just as much of a fool as you have been. I never said anything. The reason I laughed back at the cottage was I realized we both could have changed the last ten years. We were simply too stubborn.”

I stared at him. I wasn’t comprehending what he said, honestly. Did? Wait. What? My brain was rebooting or the inner WiFi stopped connecting. Whatever it was, I couldn’t think straight. He was gentle when his hand touched my face, cupping my cheek.

“Do you understand? I was as afraid to admit to you how I felt. I figured having you as a friend was better than not having you at all.”

“Richard…..”

He muffled my words with a gentle kiss. I had forgotten how tender his lips were. More than that, I had forgotten how tenderhearted he was. My arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist. I clung to him as if my survival depended on it. In many ways, I suppose my survival did. I stripped myself bare over the last four days and he was the balm I needed. Thankfully, he is a strong man. He was able to climb up the ladder with me holding on.

I expected him to lower me down onto my feet, but he didn’t. Richard took a few steps into the grass and we laid together in the wet vegetation. The panties I wore were gone. I have no idea how or when that happened, but I didn’t care. Richard wore nothing at all.

Words were useless now. They couldn’t convey what was needed. When he rolled me to my back, it was unexpected. His eyes never broke away from mine, even when he entered me.

We both cried out together with a mixture of pain and pleasure. I was ready for him, but tight. I hadn’t had anyone touch me like this in over a decade. He was much larger than I expected and immediately I arched up into him.

His hand cupped my backside, bringing me close to him. My eyes closed in that instinctive bliss and my head lifted to find his lips again.

“Keep your eyes open. Look at me Khrys.” His voice was rough.

I obeyed. I couldn’t help it. I needed him, this, everything. My soul would wither without this moment.

His hands, large and gentle, brushed across my nipples. It was like fire teasing across my skin. I tried to say something, but I couldn’t. I kissed his tender lips again instead.

I rolled him to his back. Keeping him deep with my knees at his sides. This time I made sure he looked at me.  I gave him a show. I showed him he had my heart, had always had my heart.

Those large hands of his were on my hips, gripping. I bent low to capture a kiss from him once again. He took advantage of that and was over me once again. God. My legs accepted his weight gratefully and twined around his hips once more.

Into the morning hours we loved like we never had before. Hearts beating together until that final moment of racing pure pleasure. His name was on my lips as mine was on his, we found that moment together.

The rain had stopped while we dozed together and the sun had just starting to come up over the horizon. Richard was behind me while we had dozed. I was secure in his arms. Pressing back against him, I sighed. Content.

In less than a split second that moment of feeling content was gone and nausea hit my body hard. The cold realization of what we had just done made me shiver.

In my selfishness, I had forgotten something. Richard was engaged.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

For last 32 years of my life, going to university at the age of 8, being a widow at 21, and somehow becoming an actor at the age of 22 my life was fairly normal. I was a physician, billion dollar business owner, and actor. Wait. There is NOTHING normal about that. Goddamnit.

Well for 32 years I thought my life was normal. Now at 32 years, 10 months and I don’t care how many days or hours, I know it is not.  Did I mention Goddamnit? Okay good.

I kissed him, god help me but I did. If there is one thing I do well it is maintain composure.  Richard smiled in his sleep. I had to wake him. People would already be working around the ranch.  God. I hope he wore his clothes down here. This might get interesting otherwise.

I didn’t know his fiancée. Yes, of course I had met her. I felt that she didn’t care much for me. Perhaps I was competition? I really don’t know. Quite honestly, I didn’t care. I didn’t see myself as such. We were friends, Richard and I. That was it, just friends.

I was happy for him when he got engaged. I wanted him to love and be loved. Was jealous? Probably. I buried whatever feelings I had for him so very deep. Thinking about it now, I kept my distance from him. If he and I were going to be in a similar area, we would arrange to stay a few days and catch up. I stopped doing that. I would like to say that it was because I didn’t want to bother his lady, it was just too painful for me in reality. Okay Khrys enough thinking, you need to get both of your asses in gear.

I kissed him again, this time it was returned. Richard pulled me close and I didn’t resist. I wanted to crack a joke, or do something silly to make him laugh. It was because I felt awkward. I didn’t crack a joke. I stroked his cheek and gave him a smile. I could feel that the smile was wistful, I hope he didn’t see it as such but of course he did. Are three goddamnits too many for this early in the morning? Nah.

“What’s wrong?” He propped himself up on an elbow and smiled.

“If we don’t get dressed now your lily white bum may make the news as a new moon has been spotted.” Okay yeah, I wasn’t truly able to resist teasing him. It was a hobby of mine.

“What time is it?”

“By the light through the trees my guess would be 6 to 7 in the morning. As you have left me completely starkers, I really don’t know.”

“I seem to remember finding you like this.”

“I did have on panties at one point Mr. Armitage.”

“Why yes you did Dr. Hart. I do seem to recall that.”

He got to his feet and helped me up. We found our clothes that had been tossed into the grass. I wasn’t able to find my panties. The walk back up to the cottage seemed quite a bit shorter than the run down to the spring in the middle of the night while raining. Go figure.

I am sure we were a sight to behold, luckily I didn’t see anyone besides us. Richard stopped in front of me and held up the torn panties with a grin. I tried desperately to grab them but he took off running towards the cottage.

“RICHARD CRISPIN ARMITAGE! YOU JERKFACE!!!!”

He turned around, running in place and was just laughing hysterically. He just hit his foot on the porch when I grabbed his shoulders. He continued to laugh and somehow swung me in front of him. Within a flash, the door was closed and we were alone again.

“Now, what are you willing to give me to get these back?”

My back was to the door and he leaned over me smiling. That is one of the things that is great about being tall, I could look him in the eye.

“You are still a jerkface.”

“Maybe.”

“No maybe. You are.”

“You really think that?”

“Yes.”

Richard was doing so well trying not to laugh. I leaned up like I was going to kiss him and then snatched the panties dead away from his fingers. I took off running. I knew the cottage better than he did, but barely. Running up the stairs, I headed for my bedroom. Richard grabbed me from behind and swung me around. I had my back to the wall, laughing. He was laughing with me. God my heart hurt. This was us. The same us we had always been together but now with permissions to touch, kiss, tease – it was that much more intense. This is what I had wanted. This was what I had craved every damned day since meeting him.

I couldn’t help myself. I was weak. I loved him for so long and finally when everything came together it’s a mirage. My parent would be home very late tomorrow. I would stay at their house and when they got home, I would leave.

I would tell Richard why this time. I would discuss it with him fully. This was the end. Other than where we had no choice, ‘us’ being any sort of us would cease. That also included our friendship. Obviously, I could hide my feelings from him, it would be easy to hide my complete self too.

“Hm. You smell like grass, dirt, and me. I think you need a shower.” Dangling the panties in front of his eyes, I smirked. “Luckily I have a nice cloth to wash you up with.”

He grabbed the panties and lobbed them towards the bin, and missed. Shrugging his shoulder with a grin, Richard tossed me over said shoulders and took me to the shower.

The two main bedrooms for the cottage were designated his and hers. Mine was mine and the other was for him alone. Again, my parents pretty much had adopted him as a son. Both were equipped with magnificent bathrooms. The shower alone was impressive. You had a waterfall shower head from the top and then on 3 sides at the shoulder, waist, hip, knee, and ankle. There was a handheld one as well.  

The water was hot. Hotter than most people would normally care for, but it didn’t matter. He knew I always showered like this somehow. Probably from the heavily steamed mirrors and the thick fog of heat that would roll out of the bathroom whenever we shared space.

We were gentle with each other, soap coated hands traveled over every inch of each other’s bodies. Richard was so caring and kind while he helped me wash up.

He was in perfect shape. The muscle of his body was thick, strong, and sensitive. He hadn’t done the ‘manscaping’ in a while. So his chest wasn’t as smooth looking as it often was in shows. From his feet up, I massaged the soap into his skin, using a loofa behind my hand.

Seeing him this up close and personal was new. Oh my Lord and Lady was he built to perfection. I would know that he was aroused with my eyes closed just from the heat that poured off of him. I ignored that completely. I didn’t touch anywhere near his genitals.

Rising slowly up his body, I continued. My skin slick with the water and soap slid against his own. I washed his face, his hair, and then down his back. I took my time. I wanted to make sure that every single bit of his flesh knew my touch.

Standing behind him, my arms went around his chest. I held him just like that. My hand stroked against where I could feel his heart beat. Richard laid his hand over mine and squeezed gently. I don’t believe he realized tears were washed down my cheeks combining with the heat of the shower.  It felt like I couldn’t breathe, even though I was breathing fine. So I continued. His back, bum, and legs were all scrubbed down.  

Standing, I took the handheld shower head down. Slowly, meticulously washed away the soap. Richard’s eyes were closed. The look on his face was pure bliss. He reached out for me and I blocked it by turning.

“Why did you move?”

“You took care of me last night, it is my turn.”

When he chuckled at the response, I couldn’t help but smile.

“I believe we took care of each other Khryssa.”

“Still, be that as it may, let me have my fun.”

“How can I say no to that?”

Every bit of him was cleaned up. The scent was bergamot and sweet citrus. I kept the water aimed at his shoulder and slowly moved down, not touching him. My lips found his navel. I kissed it gently. Then a nip to the bottom curve.

Kisses trailed downward. I teased that little ‘happy trail’ for a few minutes. I made sure not to touch him anywhere else. I wanted him to know the feel of my lips on his flesh. His penis was avoided once again.  My lips found the underside of his scrotum while my fingertips tugged gently. From the taint back to the underside I nuzzled, kissed, licked and bit gently.

I thought his knees might buckle for a moment. A large hand found my hair with short nails digging in to the scalp. Mercy. I would have begged for it if I could.

Finally, I ran my nails up the underside of his cock. I just wanted to touch him like that. The thick veins were like reading a love story in braille beneath my fingertips. Fingers drifting to cup around his scrotum and stroke there while my lips gave a solitary kiss to the head of his cock. Even with the shower on, I tasted his pleasure, his need, and was greedy for more. My lips and tongue teased the head. Tongue flicks beat around the ridge. My hand stroked low. Giving a stroking squeeze up and down. At just the tip, I sucked just that much harder.

He was watching what I was doing. That alone brought a thrill to my belly. My head tilted back so he could see how much I was enjoying this. My eyes locked with his.

“Khryssa. Stop. You need to stop. I can’t take much more. I am going to cum. Please. Khryssie.”

I kept going. Faster. More suction. Taking him fully to the very base. Tears were falling from my eyes with how far I was taking him in. He didn’t resist any longer. He roared out. His voice was so thick and deep, I barely understood him. Swallowing fast, I didn’t want any of that pleasure to go to waste. He pulled out of my mouth gently. I think I was more tired than he was. Leaning against his leg, my cheek rested on his thigh.

“Come here.” He reached for me after turning off the shower.

I rose with his urging. Still somewhat unsteady on my feet, I just smiled at him sleepily.

“What was that for?”

“Because I wanted to. Hungry?”

“I wasn’t until you said something.” He chuckled.

“Get dressed. I will make lunch. I think is lunchtime at least.”

“Khryssa?”

“Yes?”

He frowned. “Are you sure you are okay?”

“I’m fine. I promise.” I didn’t lie. I had made a decision. I would stick to it. Yet, Richard looked sad for some reason. Perhaps he had come to the same conclusion that I did. I have no idea. He went to get dressed. His suitcase was in his bedroom. I pulled on just a pair of wide legged slacks and a matching long sleeved top.

Food first. Talk later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

My head was throbbing when I went down to the kitchen to start some lunch. I needed coffee something fierce. Richard was already sitting at the breakfast bar drinking a cup of coffee. He was engrossed in something, I believe it was a script and had his glasses on along with jeans and a jumper.

“Like o.m.g Professor Armitage. You know I would do ANYTHING for an A in your class.” It was my best valley girl bubble head voice. He choked on his coffee. Score one for the home team.

“What the hell Khrys?”

“What?” Innocent look that failed miserably on my behalf. I poured myself a cup of coffee.

There was a pan of vegetarian tamales that Carlos’ wife had left for me. God I love her.

And reheat. I tossed together some beans and rice along with a spinach salad. And done. The salad was mainly for me. I don’t eat animal products and the last week I hadn’t been eating all that well or all that much.

“What am I going to do with you?” He smiled a half smile.

“I’m pretty sure that there isn’t much more we could do. Well, at least that wouldn’t be illegal in Texas.”

“I’m sure we could figure out something.”

Dear lord if that man didn’t just waggle his brows at me. I am not good with people. I think about half of my people skills came from Richard. He wasn’t people. He was my friend. Goddamnit, he was my best friend. This shouldn’t be so hard. Unfortunately it was.

So I wouldn’t have to talk, I started working around the kitchen. I started to make ice cream of all things in the machine. Peach. It was a favorite when I was young. I am not sure when the last time I had it.

There is that slow realization that happens every so often that surprises you. This one hit me hard. I no longer took the time to enjoy things. I worked most all of the time. Food had become fuel and nothing more. I love food. I love to cook. When was the last time I actually cooked? When was the last time I took some me time? Ah, about a year ago, when he got engaged.

Goddamnit.

I was angry at myself. I normally was so much better at acknowledging these things. I had pulled away from so much and became an automaton. Work sleep eat work repeat.

“Would you like to eat on the patio? Or stay in here?” I asked him.

“I really need to work Khrys. Would you mind me borrowing one of the office areas while I eat?”

“Of course not. Use mine, like normal.” It was a little larger than the rest. I made sure to write down the passwords and logins for everything, they changed constantly. I prepared him a plate, refilled his coffee, added a bottle of water and placed everything on a tray for him.

Then I cleaned the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry now.

The cottage was originally set up for extended family, but after so many had passed away, my father used it for meetings. That way his staff could all stay in one place. There were three rooms that were kept locked, my office, my bedroom quarters and Richard’s quarters.

My father was a former smoker. I was a former social smoker. Yes yes yes, I know. I am a physician. I should know better. I was still a teenager and was desperately trying to fit in when I started to smoke. It was still ‘cool’ to be smoking when I started. I only did it for a year.

Still, there were rare times that we would still indulge. We had all sorts of rules about it. No more than 2 cigarettes a week. No smoking inside, anywhere. Stress relief only, cravings didn’t count. All sorts of stuff like that. I think since I was 19, the most I had ever had was 4 cigarettes in a year.

So in the freezer that was an insulated box. It held a pack of menthol cigarettes. The pack was half full and I took two out. Finding a lighter was more difficult. I turned on some music for the outside while I thought about it, Yo-Yo Ma. Finally found the one for candles and took those things, an ashtray, phone, and coffee outside. Of course I forgot something. Heading back inside, finding my purse and pulling out a notebook and pen. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at myself.

Everything was laid at the table by my left hand, seeing how I am left handed. I made no moves towards any of the items, I was lost in the music immediately. Dvorak, my favorite. I didn’t play as often as I used to. I used to play every day. I was away from home more than I was there these days. When I was home, I would play for hours at a time. My parents started me taking lessons in art and music at a very young age. Some would say too young, actually. I disagree. I was a precocious child that needed something to do with their hands and concentration. If anything, it helped me greatly

“Hey.”

His fingers brushed against my shoulder. I wasn’t asleep, just listening to the music, myself, and the ranch. “Hey.” I smiled.

“Khryssa, you have me worried.” He sat down in the chair next to me.

“Why?”

“You don’t even sleep this quietly.”

I had to laugh. “Dear lord man. Not like I snore!”

“No. you don’t snore. You do make little squeaking sounds.”

“Jerkface.”

“Buttbomber.”

“Oh hey that is a good one.”

“Thank you. I tried.”

“Now talk to me Khryssa Leigh or I will torture you.”

I shot him a look. “I might like the torture.” Hmmpf.

“No. no you won’t. I will force feed you a steak.”

“NO! Okay okay. What would you like to talk about? Weather? Grain prices? OOoh. American football. I know you are a fan.” He definitely was not a fan.

Damn those blue eyes of his. He pinned me to the back of my chair without even a touch. The eyes tell all. Goddamnit. Have I met my Goddamnit allotment for the day? Fuck.

“Us Khryssa. I want us to talk about us.”

I felt like a petulant child for all of a half second. We needed to have this conversation, preferably before my parents arrived. Okay maybe the petulant child lasted a full second.

Sighing, I nodded. “You are correct we do need to talk about this. Rich my dear sweet friend, we can’t do this. It’s cruel.”

I swear he looked like I backhanded his puppy. His brow knitted and he looked down at his hands. “That’s not what I was expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“To figure out how all of this works for us. We are both so busy that our schedules never seem to coincide. I know we have met in the past in a common area, but I don’t think that is enough.”

Time to light the cigarette because now I was confused as hell. I took a drag and offered him the other. He declined. Richard didn’t smoke, I suspect he had once upon a time but no longer.

“You only smoke Khrys when you are extremely stressed. Why does the idea of you and I together stress you out so much.”

Goddamnit.

I sighed. “Rich, you are engaged.”

He looked surprised. Then hurt. Then he started to laugh. What the hell was it with men laughing at me? Well, this man. Still.

“You think that little of me?” He stood up, angrily. “We split months ago. It wasn’t a good match. You honestly think I would cheat on someone I loved?”

“You didn’t tell me about the split.”

“I told no one. I didn’t think I had to. It was what we both wanted.”

“Richard. I am so very sorry.” Never before in my life had I wanted to disappear this badly “I should have spoken to you a decade ago. When I learned how you felt, I should have spoken to you about any of my concerns.”

“Yes, you should have. Now that I know what sort of man you believe me to be, if you will excuse me I need to pack my things.” The door slammed behind him.

In an instant, my heart shattered. It was a pain I hadn’t felt since Xavier died. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t speak. I just wanted everything to stop. No. That’s not true. I wanted everything to go back how it was. Let me pine for him, let the love be unrequited, just make this all stop.

Of course, the shattered teacup never goes back together, no matter what Hannibal Lecter wants to believe.

Steadying myself, I tried to think of what to say to him. Of course, not a damn thing came to mind. Goddamnit. Going up to his room was strange. I really never went in there. When we were here together, the bedrooms were just for sleeping and changing. We were always out in the main area of the cottage. I honestly couldn’t tell you what the room looked like.

When I knocked on the door there was no answer.

“Rich? I’m sorry. I truly am sorry. I was so wrapped up in my own pity, I couldn’t see past that.”

Nothing. It was dead quiet.

“Rich? Please just say anything.”

I knocked again. Looking out the window, Richard’s rental car wasn’t there. My legs gave out and I just slid down the wall.

He was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

 – Richard-

 

I had to get away. Instead of leaving like I should have, I made sure she didn’t know. I needed time to think about everything that was going on. Fuck, it was a mess.  So I drove away. I went over to a nearby park and grabbed my trainers out of the boot and just started running. It would help me think but all I could think of was her.

The first time I met her, I was intrigued. Who wouldn’t be? She is gorgeous. There was so much more to her than simple beauty. The first time that we met, Khryssa had a slight windburn across her nose. When I asked her about it, she blushed. She had taken a few days off to get the first bit of skiing in for the season. With that knowledge, I liked her right away.

One of our co-stars had gotten hurt the very next day. We weren’t filming yet but of course we were on set. She stitched the man up. I was in shock, why would an actor do that? She had replied gently that she was a surgeon. I had thought she was teasing, she wasn’t.

It made me second guess how old she was, Google filled in the rest. Khryssa Hart was indeed Dr. Khryssa Hart and she was all of 22 years old.

The more I found out about her, the more I enjoyed her. She loved music and played the cello, as well as a few other instruments. She loved to cook and eat. She was kind, sweet, funny, and had all sorts of self-depreciating stories that would light up a room with laughter. At the same time, she wasn’t putting herself down, she simply enjoyed life. Khrys could laugh at herself but with herself.

One of the strangest moments was a scene we did together. Her character was enjoying a fresh spring rain, which was unladylike for the period. My character tried to force himself on her. Her lines were to hiss at him and ask if he was any better than a dog in an alley. With our bodies so close together and the wet linen she wore, I became aroused. It would have been impossible not to. When I tried to apologize later, she smiled and kissed my cheek. Khryssa told me that there was nothing wrong with what happened, we do not control our physiological reactions any more than we control the weather.

That scene became almost a fantasy. I dreamed of how she would tilt her chin upwards with unmasked fury in her eyes. Her back would be to the wall while I stood in front of her.

Khryssa would, in the fantasy, say something along the lines. “Do you wish to fuck me or hit me Richard?”

In the fantasy, her eyes would shine with a fury that I never had seen before, even now. She would narrow them further and be completely the opposite from the woman I loved secretly.  She would ask me if I was no better than that dog in the alley and what on earth did I want from her. I wanted her to love me like I loved her. She then would allow the first kiss.

It was just a fantasy. Never would I wish to scare her or even unintentionally do her harm. I wouldn’t do it to anyone. Yet, the fantasy of her remained.

That was a short BBC miniseries that we did together. My character, William, was a bit of a cad. Her character, Claret, hated mine at first. Yet, mine loved her. My character paid her father a dowry fit for a princess. It also repaid most of the debt that Claret’s father owed. Literally, William purchased Claret. She was angry because of it. The one promise that William made was that he would take care of Claret and not force her to marry him. It was more of a comedy than it sounds, mostly at William’s expense.

When we found out that our homes were mere seconds away from each other, it sealed the deal. We were already on the way to a close friendship.

When I needed riding lessons, she cleared her schedule and took me to her parents’ home in Texas. Between Khrys and her parents, I learned a lot. They treated me like one of the family. Khryssa wasn’t as reserved as most English women, neither was her mother. Although, the entire family valued their privacy greatly. I was very understanding of that. Her father started to guffaw while we were talking about privacy around the dining room table. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was family and family talked to each other. Khryssa was definitely a product of her parents.

She ended up meeting my family. My nephew bonded with Khrys immediately, even to the point of calling her Auntie K. Whenever she finds something that makes her think of Abe and she believes that he will enjoy the gift, she sends it to him.

I had never met a lovelier, warm, welcoming, kind person in my entire life. Khryssa was a bundle of positive energy. In ten years, I may have seen her in a bad mood 4 times, at least until this past week.

One of my fondest memories was a red carpet moment she had. I was there, but our arrival times were different.  One of the reporters was trying to shame her about having so much money and the fact that her shoes were not the luxe brand of the week. With a raised brow, Khryssa smiled politely and tipped her head. She said that she rather spend 200 pounds on a pair of heels than 2000. That way the remaining 1800 pounds could go to a better use like helping someone in need. There was never a moment that I admired someone that much. She was feisty.

I dated, she didn’t. I tried not to think about her but I couldn’t help it, after all we were JUST friends. She was a constant in my life. This wasn’t a bad thing. If I needed her, she was there. Didn’t matter where in the world we were at, or whatever difference in the time zones. It wasn’t just Khryssa either. Her mother had a habit of sending me care packages when I was away from London. There were always sweets, socks, cards, all sort of strange stuff. One time her mother knitted me a face warmer that looked like Thorin’s beard. The care packages were much welcomed. I felt the love that Khryssa and her family had for me. I returned the love to them.

When I was engaged, everything changed between her and I. I think that Khryssa could feel that my fiancée was jealous and she made sure not to interfere. Honestly, I understood the jealousy. If the situation would have been reversed, I would probably had been jealous too. The jealousy wasn’t just about Khrys. It started bleeding over from other areas too. We were both miserable so we ended things.

I should have told Khryssa but I was embarrassed. A couple of our mutual friends, myself, and Khryssa were having dinner over at her place. She gave me a bottle of wine to open while she went back to cooking. I don’t know what it was, perhaps the look on my face. One of our friends leaned over and said that Khryssa was my Margaret Hale.

I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know what that even meant coming from our friend. He explained.

“Dude, you love her. You have loved her from afar because you don’t feel you are worthy of her. She feels the same way, she loves you but doesn’t think she is worthy of you. Until you two try, you will both be miserable.”

Our friend wasn’t wrong, obviously.

That was what the calling her on that Mickey Mouse answer was about. I wanted to be the crush, the love that she wouldn’t say to the world. I realize it backfired horribly. If we just had been honest years earlier, who knows where we might be. It was hard not to fantasize about a family with Khryssa to begin with. After she called me Mickey – it was impossible.

I had to get away from the situation for a bit to clear my head. I had felt so angry with Khrys at first. In truth, I was angry at myself and I lashed out at her instead. After my run, I went back to the ranch.

The cottage was silent. The agents said she hadn’t left, but Khryssa has other ways of getting out. She started doing that when she was visiting as a teen. This time I hope she didn’t run again. I knew I had hurt her.

Finally, after sitting in the car for a while, I went in. I think I was gone about three hours in total. I was about ready to call out her name, but I knew better than to do that. Khryssa would be one of two places. Maybe three now that I knew about the spring. She would either be in the bath or her bed. I was betting the bed.

Khryssa was in her bed, curled up tight as can be. She was asleep. Taking a blanket to cover her up, I laid down next to her. It looked like she had cried herself to sleep. Her cheeks had dried tears on them along with her eyelids being swollen and red. I didn’t even realize until now that she had left her hair down. It had been like that all day. Khryssa didn’t wear her long locks down very often. Actually, the only time she did was normally at my request.

I wouldn’t wake her. I couldn’t. She looked exhausted. I felt like a complete and utter arse.  I just leaned against the bed and closed my eyes. I wasn’t asleep. I was trying to focus when she spoke.

“I thought you left.”

“I did.”

“I meant for good.”

“I’m sorry Khrys.” I sighed. “I should have told you that I needed a break.”

“Don’t be sorry Richard. I’m am not innocent in this.”

“I think this time you are.”

In a usual Khryssa fashion, she rolled her eyes. The smile that came after, though, was beautiful.

Khryssa turned to face me. My heart beat faster when she laid her head against my shoulder.

“I’m a mess, aren’t I?”

“You are beautiful.”

“Flatterer.”

“To me you are beautiful. You always have been.”

“Richard? I am so very sorry.”

“I am too.”

“Can we start over?”

“Of course.”

“Hi. I’m Khryssa Hart. It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Armitage. Except….what are you doing in my bed?” She looked utterly faux confused.

I couldn’t help but laugh. This was MY Khryssa. “You know you are a touch daft, yes?”

“Of course. I am crazy for you, how could I not be a touch daft?”

“How is this going to work Khrys?”

“Well, we won’t know until we try.”

“Do you have any idea how much scheduling this is going to take?’

“Yes. Greta might strangle us both.”

Greta was her extremely patient assistant.

“How about we watch a movie and relax together?” Oh hell. Khryssa had that look in her eye when I said that. There was a side of her that was quite the naughty little imp. When that imp came out all you could do was just hang on to your seat and try not to fall into the pit of laughter.

“I have an idea.” She grinned

“Why does this frighten me?

“Richard!” She smacked my shoulder playfully. “How about we watch the first film we did together BUT with the volume off?  We can give it the MST 3000 treatment?”

How could I have not fallen in love with her?

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

 

We never did watch a movie. Trust me, I am not complaining. We spent most of last night talking, actually. I had just woken up to find him sleeping on my lower abdomen. I’m not sure how all of this happened. I am just pleased that it did.

I ran my nails through Richard’s short hair, he didn’t even budge. I really needed to get out of bed and fix coffee and breakfast. I knew that my parents were home, I didn’t need my father popping up here and finding us. As much as he loves Richard, seeing me in bed with a man might spark something unpleasant in dad. Mum would just laugh at both my father and at me.

Richard rolled over in his sleep. Yes, I stared at his sleeping body for a few minutes. Good god was he a beautiful man. Clothes, then breakfast. Finding me making breakfast in the nude might be more traumatizing for dad than a naked man in my bed. Might being the key factor here.

Yoga pants, t-shirt, bare feet, hair in a ponytail – now that was a look. Look out red carpet, here I come. I was cutting up some fruit when Richard walked down the stairs. I tried not to giggle. He was bare chested and yawning.

Taking a fresh cup of coffee to him at the breakfast bar, I couldn’t help but be amused by him. Neither of us were morning people, but this was a bit different. When he pulled me between his legs to give me a proper good morning kiss, I bit his bare shoulder as well.

“What was that for?”

“You’re tasty.” I licked the bitten spot. “Now you are mine. I licked you so, well you know the rules.”

“Khryssa, if you remember I licked you last night. Technically you are mine.”

One, two, three, and BLUSH. Oh yes, I remembered quite well. Rich saw the blush and started to laugh.

“I guess we belong to each other then?”

“You are naughty Richard Crispin Armitage.”

“It’s one of the things you like about me.”

“Indeed. Let me get breakfast finished. I’m famished.”

“Wonder why?” He looked so very cheeky.

Breakfast was simple fare this morning. Usually, I would be much more extravagant but unless he wanted me to eat his arm off, it would be better to get some food in me quickly.

Breakfast and more coffee it was. I started cleaning up when he protested.

“You cooked Khrys, I will clean up.”

“My house, my rules Richard.”

“Technically it is your parents’ house.” He looked smug.

“I don’t think I have called you jerkface yet today.”

“Nor have you said Goddamnit, so I am in the clear thus far.”

“Would you please sit down and relax?”

“I will relax but I won’t sit.”

I rolled my eyes at him and started on the dishes. Richard came up behind me and lifted just enough of my shirt to expose my belly. His arms wrapped around me while he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“See here young lady, I can supervise.”

“Groan.” I flicked some bubbles at him. We did this for several minutes, playing, working, and kissing.

I had my back to the sink with my arms around his neck. I would never get enough of him. Over a decade was far too long to wait.  He was strong, god was he strong. Richard lifted me up and placed me on the edge of the sink. He was pressing tight to the apex of my thighs with his hand beneath the t-shirt. Just the pad of Richard’s thumb brushed across my nipple. That was all it took. I was ready for him. I wanted him now. His fingers plucked at the tie on the waist of my yoga pants and -

“It’s about bloody time you two figured this out.”

Fuck. “Hi mum.” I croaked out the words before starting to laugh.

Richard jumped back so fast that you would have thought he had gotten burned. Those beautiful blue grey eyes of his were wide and worried.

Mum came over and patted Richard on the arm.  “Richard, please calm yourself. I am not upset. I have been wondering when you two would realize that you were more than just friends.”

“Thank you Mrs. Hart?” It was a question.

“I thought I had broken you of calling me that? Jael is my name.”

“Yes Jael.”

As for me? I was already on my knees laughing hysterically. Just the interaction between my mum and Richard struck me as so funny. I am my mother’s daughter in the worst of ways.

“Khryssa Leigh, get your arse up off that floor.”

“Mum can’t br-br-breathe.” I swear I felt her eyes roll at me.

Richard looked down and saw me and then he started to laugh. He kept trying to pull me up and I would just collapse into hysterics again. It set mum off as well. The three of us couldn’t stop.

“What the hell is going on?” My father’s drawl boomed into the kitchen.

I was done for. I was on my back in the middle of the kitchen with mum beside me, both of us in hysterics. Richard gained composure first.

“Senator, it’s good to see you.”

Dad and Richard shook hands. I saw Rich go beet red realizing he wasn’t fully dressed. Mum and I started in with the hysterical laughter again. Jesus, I thought I broke a rib I was laughing so hard.

Finally, mum and I calmed ourselves down. Rich had retired upstairs for a moment to put on proper clothing, I think. When he came back down he was in jeans and a jumper.

Dad is an imposing man to most anyone. He was just a hair under 7 feet tall and was built like a linebacker. The way he was glaring at the three of us, it would have sent most anyone running for cover. Mum and I were used to it.

“Jael, would you care to explain what happened?” Dad asked.

“Oh Jimmy, our baby bird has finally left the nest.”

No one dared called my father Jimmy but mum. I had joked for years that it wasn’t until I was legally an adult that I found out my dad’s first name wasn’t Senator.

“Oh? Which one Khryssa or Richard?”

Did I mention they really did consider him family?

“Both!” Mum clapped her hands together. “When I came in they were snogging!”

“MUM!!!!!”

“It’s about damn time that you two figured this shit out.”

I looked at my father when he said that. Did everyone know except myself and Richard?

“Let’s go back to the house Jim. Let the kids be alone for a while longer. Khryssie? Lunch will be served at 1.”

And facepalm. I looked over at Richard. He was somewhat glassy-eyed.

“Khryssa? Did all of that really just happen?”

“Yes. Really. Did you expect anything different?”

“Other than being caught by your mother while I was trying to get into your pants, not really.” He grinned. “Come sit on the sofa for a moment or two with me?”

“Of course, is something the matter?”

“If I had been five seconds faster trying to get into your knickers your mother would have found me in quite the compromising position. As much as I rather try again, but with locked doors this time, I really would like to talk.”

I did as he asked and sat down with him. I was slightly apprehensive but this was me trusting him. Richard leaned in. His lips were gentle and yet searing at the same time. I could feel the crackling change between us. He looked me in the eye and spoke in that quiet way of his.

“Khryssa, I love you. I know you love me. This has been an exhausting week. So, I think I need to say this.” He brushed a lock of my hair back and smiled wistfully. “I don’t want you just in the bedroom. I want you to be part of my life. I want to be part of your life. I know that we are often times on opposite sides of the world.”

His brow creased and I didn’t say anything. I wanted him to have this time to speak.

“From this point on, complete in utter honesty in all things. Will you agree to that?”

“Yes. I agree whole heartedly.”

“Every day, unless one of us is in a place where it is not an option, I want us to talk. “

“And I will agree wholeheartedly to that as well.”

“I don’t wish to hide this when we are in public either.”

I have to admit, I was taken aback. Richard and I were both extremely private. He actually was more so than I, but barely.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” He tugged at one of my curls. “Of course not to flaunt it, but if there are places we have to be, I want you by my side and I wish to be by your side.”

“I’ve never had that before Richard. I don’t know what to say.” I didn’t know what to say because I was terrified of this. I didn’t want to be in tabloids. I didn’t want to live life with the paparazzi around. Well, more than I already did. I took a deep breath. That was all I could do. “I’m frightened to say the least, yet not of you. I don’t want to have to fight with the paparazzi and the tabloids.”

“You be you. I’ll do the same and – “

“Wait. You will be me? Richard, my sweet love, my shoes will never fit your feet.” Pokerface. Nailed it.

“What am I going to do with you?” He shook his head with a smile. “We be true to ourselves, better?”

I nodded and smirked at him.

“Then we won’t have to worry about that.”

“Does this mean I can take you back upstairs and ravish you properly now?” I batted my lashes at him.

“If you don’t, I will be upset.”

Remember that Richard is a jerkface that I have known for over a decade. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. My hair was almost to the floor behind him. Grumbling, I started smacking his butt to get him to hurry. Indeed, he did hurry up to my bedroom. After that? There wasn’t any hurrying from either of us. At least not until lunch time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

-Epilogue, almost 5 years later-

 

I was standing by the window doing the breakfast dishes. The Texas heat was still thick as molasses even in the first week of September. Richard snuck up behind me.

“Why hello beautiful.”

Tilting back I kissed him as well as flicked some suds from my fingertips. “Hi there.” The feeling of de ja vu kicked me in the head and I grinned at him.

Rich looked out the window. “Your father is something else.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“So that was the big birthday surprise?” He kissed the side of my throat.

“One of…..”

Rich shook his head with a smile. He knew better than to argue.

“It’s a good thing that we live on the other side of the world most of the time or talk about spoiled.”

I laughed and dried my hands. Good lord, the heat was something awful. “Your parent’s spoil them just as much as mine do. Come on. Let’s go outside and have a look.”

“You aren’t wrong about my parents. Are you going to melt in this heat Khrys?” There was concern in his voice.

“Possibly, but I will be fine.” My back was already starting to hurt but I ignored it.

Dad was kicking up a fine amount of dust, it was good to see. I don’t recall ever seeing him as happy as he was right now.

“MUM! DAD!” John Crispin Armitage yelled over from the back of his new pony.

“COME OVER PLEASE!” His brother, James Alexander Armitage yelled too, also from the back of HIS new pony.

Twin boys, born four years ago were being led around by their Papa.

Somehow in all the drama of five years ago between myself and their father, we forgot that sex often times leads to a child. Well, in our case, children.  They were born at 4 o’clock in the morning on 22 August 4 years ago. Richard tells our boys that they will always be his favorite birthday present. We named them after our fathers.

“Should we go over?” Richard was slightly behind me nuzzling against my ear. He rested his hand on my belly, gently. “Or do you need to lay down?”

“I want to stand here just like this and watch for a few minutes more. They are growing up so fast.”

“Mmmm. You look so beautiful out here in the sun my Khryssie.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “I look like a beached whale.” We were expecting a little girl in December. The boys and their father said it would be the best Christmas present ever. Me? I already was huge. And uncomfortable, but I couldn’t argue with their logic.

It didn’t matter, we were happy.

I had quit working a few months before the boys were born. I never picked it up again. I worked a little here and there, but it was mostly at the company and not acting. I didn’t have the drive to be busy all the time any longer. I think I did way back then because I was trying to force my heart to ignore what I truly wanted. Plus, I enjoyed staying home with the twins.  As they got a little older, we would go to where Richard was working, it was good for the boys and their father. Much to my surprise, he slowed his schedule down to stay at home more often.

I caught a bit of flack from the tabloids and such because I didn’t work like I used to. I just laughed. I wouldn’t trade my life for the world.

“You need to sit. Let me see to the boys.”

Richard and my dad were literally horsing around now. Ouch. That was bad even in my own head. Mum had been filming and taking pictures of everyone when she came over and sat by me on the porch.

“You look so content.”

I turned to mum and smiled. “That’s because I am.”

“Are they showing any of your skills?”

That worried her. I knew it. I wasn’t an easy child. I was far too intelligent for my own good and other children didn’t like that. To be fair, I didn’t like other children because they made no sense to me.

“To my extent? No Mum. They are very bright for their age, but it doesn’t seem to be anything I need to be concerned about. Besides, if that changes, they do have each other.”

“They look so much like Rich.”

Mum was right. They did. The only thing they seemed to get from me was my smile and unruly dark hair. “They already have puppy feet.” I laughed.

“Puppy feet?”

“Too big of feet that they have to grow into. They will be taller than either of us.” I grunted softly. I think my daughter just gave me a head butt right around the navel. Good lord this child was active.

“I am so glad you are happy Khryssa Leigh.”

“You thought I wouldn’t be?”

“After Xavier passed away, I wasn’t sure. You were so closed off to everyone.”

“Except Richard.”

“That should have told you something right there young lady.”

I laughed and laughed loud. I couldn’t help it. It had taken me a decade to realize who I needed. He did too. It didn’t matter now.

We were together.                                                                

We were happy.

We had been in love for 15 years.

As I looked across the field to where my husband was playing with our sons, this was right where we were both supposed to be, together.  

 

 

 


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